Monthly Archives: November 2009

Blog: Sadness

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Dear friend

I’m so sad that you are going through such a hard time and I wish there was something I could do to fix it. I want you to know that I've been there, but at the same time I know that our situations aren't the same and I don't feel what you're feeling right now.

I just want you to know that even though I can’t change your situation, I’ll listen. I’ll cry with you and I’ll listen. I’m sorry if I do too much talking, it’s just that I feel so helpless and I don’t want you to feel like no-one cares that you’re going through an impossible time.

Losing someone you love is horrible, especially when it’s someone who has been part of your life from birth. It’s hard to imagine what the future will be like without them. If anything, you need to believe even more in what you believed before and let hope be part of your worldview. That’s not an easy task when you you’re in the process of saying goodbye to someone you love.

You need to know that even in the midst of the pain, I completely believe that things are going to get better. They may get worse first. You will probably try to work out why your life has gone so crazy. Life can be a lot harder that expected, a lot harder than people lead you to believe. But please, don’t give up on believing that there will be good things in your life and that there are better times to come. Don't let yourself think that you are alone.

You may have been lied to – that if you just believed enough that only good things would happen. That’s not really the way things are. But I promise you that there will be better times.

All we can really do is live. We can live like zombies who are detached from the possibility of hurt, or we can LIVE. I hope that even in the midst of these hard times when you see the hardest side of life, that you don’t forget that life offers joy as well as sadness. That you will let yourself laugh even when you are grieving.

Please don’t isolate yourself. Let us help you live through these days of pain. There will be better times. Let’s not pretend. But these times are real, but I hope you will allow us walk through them with you. My ability to help you may be seriously flawed, but please understand that I am with you in this, and I’m not the only one.

Blog: The creative process

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I went to the Bead Hold in Pt Chevalier tonight on a girls get together. I made a couple of necklaces – one for me, and one to give away to some lucky person… unless I selfishly start wearing it between now and Christmas.

I've been there before a few years ago but was happier with what I made today compared to previous efforts. I think the class helped, I learned a few key skills so that I could create my masterpieces, gaining in confidence by the second.

I spend ages trawling through all the beads (and there are millions) waiting for inspiration to strike. The choice can be overwhelming, but today I remembered that as someone with a small frame I should avoid lots of big beads and also that I like simplicity. I had nearly made my choices when I came across a curiously misshapen freshwater pearl, which became the focal point of my new necklace.

It took three pearls, a chain, some things called headpins and jump rings and a variety of little tools and I was ready to create. Making stuff is great. I'm not a jeweller, but I can make a necklace. It's like how I'm not an artist, but I used to have amazing times throwing paint on canvas. Sometimes I'd even like the finished products.

Times like tonight and my efforts making art have made me firmly believe that it's a beautiful thing when you can create just for the fun of it. Artists, musicians and even writers who have to do things for a living and deadlines are fortunate, because they get to use their talents. I'm sure though that it must be difficult to keep that simple enjoyment of just making things – not for a particular reason, but just because you can.

I have an unusual and lopsided necklace with a pearl which I think is flawed but beautiful. I've also spent a little time being creative – not because I needed to finish a story or come up with a brilliant idea for a project. 

I'd like to do this again. I came up with my best ideas just before closing time so I want to go back before I forget them. Everyone may get home made gifts this year.

If you'd like to check out The Bead Hold, visit www.thebeadhold.com. Take a bunch of friends so that you can steal all their best ideas.

Blog: Giapo is the new village shop

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My world would fall apart in a serious way if I was told I had to cut dairy out of my diet. I have deep emotional feelings toward cheese that the average person who merely ‘likes cheese’ will never understand. Good chocolate makes me emotional. My absolute favourites are lavender truffles. Icecream is a beautiful thing. I’ll always love Goody Goody Gum Drop, but these days I’m most happy with a small amount of gourmet goodness. Kapiti’s Lemongrass and Ginger icecream is particularly spectacular as is Giapo’s Hazelnut gelato.

I popped down to Giapo after work today for a quick hello and small tub of said Hazelnutty goodness (it has Nutella in it!) and realised how much it has become an Auckland gathering place and a don’t miss stop for out of towners. People seem to have chosen it as a place to meet up during lunchtime or after work – lots of people. Seriously, I could probably see people there least three times a week, more if I ran away from my desk during the afternoon. It takes a special place to create that kind of buzz. It wouldn’t work if the product wasn’t good – and this product is a-ma-zing. But you’ve got to add the rest of the package to that – the vibe, the decor and the people. Gianpaulo (Giapo for short) is completely genuine about his passion for gelato and you can tell right away that he really enjoys connecting with people and giving them a great time. I guess I’d say he’s a great example of a living brand – its about the whole experience, not just putting gelato in cones and taking money.

They’ve started decorating the store for Christmas with purple decorations and have something really cool planned. I’m not going to spoil the surprise, but I really I think you should drop by over the coming weeks. Get yourself some gelato, make someone’s day and buy them a tub or cone. Join in with the cool plans. Meet Giapo and be inspired by someone who is truly passionate about what they do. It’s the best kind of infectious. 

Blog: The final countdown

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As I write it's still 24 November – one month until Christmas Eve. That's a little bit disturbing because I'm sure it was just April, or at least September. The slight feeling of panic that comes at this time of year is less to do with Christmas shopping (although that's only because I am suppressing all such thoughts) and more to do with EVERYTHING I NEED TO DO BETWEEN NOW AND THEN. Oh sorry, was I shouting? Surely you understand my TRAUMA and will forgive me.

If I think about the four weeks between now and Christmas my head starts spinning with important and ridiculous thoughts. The problem is that when they're all competing for attention it gets difficult to see which are which. Things like:
  • How will I finish all my projects on time?
  • When should I go to Hamilton to see mum?
  • Should I get a spray tan before going to Melbourne?
  • What colour jandals should I get this year?
  • Who do I need/want to buy presents for this year?
  • Am I going to save enough before I go to Melbourne?
  • Why did Rove quit?
  • I need to get my brows shaped before going to Wellington in a couple of weeks
  • What shall I wear?
  • Don't forget travel insurance.
  • I wonder how Te Waka is doing? I haven't spoken to her for a few days.
  • I should sell that extra ticket I brought to that gig before Christmas so I have the money
  • What should I write my next Social Talk blog on?
  • Do I dress for summer or winter today?
  • Should I go to Jersey Boys?
  • Am I Thelma or Louise?
  • Is buying that breaking my budget? At this moment do I care?
  • I like ponies.
FYI, I have not broken the Melbourne rules much at all… so far. It's amazing how homemade lunches are not terminal even if they are boring.

Did I put that song in your head? Sorry.

Blog: Pushing buttons

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I went to a World Vision event last night that was so good for me. Partly because it was relaxing and fun and I was exhausted after a week that felt like to was at least 20 days long and partly because there were some pearls of wisdom on offer.

An amazing speaker, Allison Mooney did a short talk about personalities and how we interact with each other. I’m both fascinated and cynical about this stuff. What was cool about her talk was that it was about knowing what ‘fills your tank’ and making sure you know what fills the tank of the people you interact with – because this makes life a whole lot better. The lady spoke a lot of sense. I great example she gave was about the difference in temperaments between her and her husband. She had learnt that when he says ‘where are you going and when will you be home?’ that it’s not about lack of trust or control, but it’s because he’s a details person. He’s also someone who, at the time she has specified she’s going to be home has done things like turned on the light and prepared a hot drink for her. I’m someone who finds interrogation by detail people confusing and annoying, so this example was a good one about how we can misinterpret caring for control.

Personality stuff is interesting, especially when you apply it to yourself with honestly. If you want to grow you need to look at your weaknesses as well as your strengths. I have Allison’s CD and would like to read her book Pressing the Right Buttons over the summer.

Getting home and reading on Twitter a lot of people’s 10 cents (we don’t have 2 cent pieces anymore) about a particular campaign launch and company rebrand, I did find the strong feelings – positive and negative pretty intense. You’d think someone had hurt a kitten or something! A lot of feedback has been offered and to their credit, those on the receiving end have responded with class.

I’ve been reminded that even when it’s online communication, we are dealing with real life not some app like Farmville.

If you can’t cheer someone on, sometimes it is good to speak up. Sometimes it even needs to be done in a public forum (but I suspect not often). But before you do, it’s worth just doing a quick self-check to see if some of your strong reaction is coming from something else in you. Like the ‘details’ persons caring seeming like interrogation – it’s easy to misread things. I know that it’s easy for me to mistrust or dismiss the value of things just because I wasn’t involved in their invention. It’s like the need to feel valued on steroids. For other people it’s there are other buttons that get pushed. These are worth watching – in all kinds of situations.

For good or for bad in this little social media community, there is a huge amount of emotional investment. I realised that myself when I found myself offering someone I don’t even know some media advice via Twitter this week when I thought they should probably keep their head down. I still think I was right of course. Their highly paid manager will probably say the same thing and this time they might get the message. But if they don’t, it’s not my problem.

PS There was a chocolate fountain at my girl’s event. I’m thinking of getting a pair for my house. 

Blog: Why don’t you kiss my…

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I have been playing with this social media thing for some time now and find it endlessly fascinating. For me, MySpace came and went – although I still find it a good place to check out new music and find out band information. Facebook has connected me with the English side of my family, allowed me to be invited to all kinds of events and parties and allowed me to join groups like these ones:

When I realised the word “bed” looks like a bed, my mind was blown http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=171692984009

An Arbitrary Number of People Demanding That Some Sort Of Action Be Taken http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=59306991210

 

As you see, I’ve joined some extremely meaningful and worthwhile groups. I’ve also been involved with setting up some groups for work, as well as an account with that bourgeoning relationship building tool Twitter. I’ve tried a few different things, I’ve watched what other people do and it’s been fun. As a consumer of arts and entertainment there are a few things I like – a heads up on what’s going to be happening (I love being the one who knows things first), the word on any special deals and free stuff… who doesn’t love free stuff?

 

There have been some great conversations, some hilarious competitions – my personal favourite was giving away two concert tickets to the writer of the best Alice Cooper haiku – and a brilliant opportunity to get to know some of the Aucklanders who are interested in arts and entertainment – whether they attend or not.

 

It was a random Twitter conversation with a student about the violin that sparked a train of thought for me a couple of months ago. I’m of the belief that there are plenty of people who like going to events, but don’t really know where to start with ‘the arts’. Hmmm… I thought. There’s an opportunity here… what if…

 

THE EDGE is in a really fortunate position because we have a massive range of events come to our venues – the Aotea Centre, The Civic and Auckland Town Hall. We see everything on our stages – comedy, drama, opera, dance and all kinds of music. We get to witness the debut of New Zealand works like Flintlock Musket that opened last night http://bit.ly/1mJiep, host musical virtuosos from around the world. There’s always something exciting and new coming up.

 

This is where Kiss My Arts comes in. We launched it on Friday to our Twitter and Facebook followers – calling for people keen to go to events throughout 2010 and chronicle their experiences on the Kiss My Arts blog. We’ve had some great applications and comments so far – the concept seems to be striking a chord with people.

 

Applications close this Sunday 22 November – have you applied yet? If you’ve read about it and thought ‘this would be perfect for [insert name here]’ – we’d love you to pass the information on. Read all about it here: http://bit.ly/415r46.  

 

Tell us what you think,

 

Josie (aka Kiss My Arts Facilitator)

 

Reposted from the Kiss My Arts blog www.kissmyarts.posterous.com

Blog: LoFi entertaining

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I’m on the three paydays until Melbourne savings crunch and I have something on every night this week. It is also my turn to arrange a fortnightly get together with some of my friends – one of my favourite times – we hang out, eat, drink cups of tea and talk about everything from the ridiculous to the meaning of life.. things are more likely to veer toward the ridiculous most of the time.

On Monday I was still trying to decide what to do on Wednesday (tonight), knowing that I’d be tired after working Tuesday night and lacking inspiration. The best I could come up with was dessert at a cafe, not my most exciting idea but acceptable. I ring Alex for advice, she suggests – pizza. Not ordering in, not even Sals NY Pizza, she means make our own. Genius.

Everyone is instructed to bring their favourite toppings, I pick up bases and a few essentials and a selection of fizzy drink – hey, I’m on a budget okay! Plus there is something seriously intermediate school group about this gathering. (After three tall glasses of glasses of Sparkling Duet I come to the conclusion that fizzy drink is far worse than wine for excitement and giggles).

The pizzas were a stunning example of group participation – we had seven bases and seven people. We experimented with flavours and all took turns creating our masterpieces. None were disasters, although some of us declined to opportunity to enjoy the anchovy pizza.

In a week this busy, it would be easy to make nights like this one a low priority, but I’m so glad I made time for my regular quality time with these friends. It was great fun, delicious and I now feel incredibly relaxed, which is not my usual dinner party experience.

Try it… and for bonus points have the makings of banana splits in store.

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See the full gallery on Posterous

Blog: Things that will make life work

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Sometimes I’m just not that good at organising my life. I say yes to stuff and have RSVPs and appointments scattered across my phone, bookface and outlook. Bring them together and I either have three things on one night and nothing else for the rest of the week forcing me to the kind of decisions that can rupture friendships, or like this week have something on every single night.

"How fun your life must be" say people. Yes, this is true. My big night out tonight was a pretty rock n roll trip to the gym date with a friend followed by pizza and The Mentalist. Mellow yes, but it was a night out on my sacred sloth night Monday.

I like people, talking, shows, events and parties. It’s just that the prospect of lots of those things in a row, punctuated by needing to be clever at work and not enough time to read books and recharge can be daunting. This is because I have moments of extreme introvertedness when I. Just. Need. A. Bit. Of. Quiet.

I knew this week was coming – so I have prepared in the following ways:

·         The fridge is reasonably full – so even if I get tired, I can eat healthily (major win). Life is better when I have groceries. It makes me feel like I am in control, rather than life just happening to me.

·         I have lots of clean clothes – and in a bonus move, they are all put away nicely.

·         I have decided that I am going to leave all the events when I want to – not when I feel I should – thus ensuring enough sleep and minimising those exhausting conversations you get into with people you talk to out of duty that leave you drained and/or furious.

·         I’m getting a haircut on Thursday after work and before the Thursday event – helps end of the week fabulousity levels.

·         I built up my alone time reserves during the weekend – reading, napping, not getting up too early.

·         I exercised today, allowing me to feel just a little big smug because usually that’s the first thing to disappear and for some reason it’s the last thing to come back.

Think of me, while I’m out there having fun against my will.

What are the little things that get you through the busy times?

Note: The groceries pictured are NOT mine. Mine is a) a little more fun and b) does not have a baguette sticking out of an overfilled paperbag in the style of American TV and film.

Blog: Give a little bit…

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Giving

 

The story has been around for a couple of weeks about the Cambridgians who are giving away their house as part of an effort to funraise for a new church and community centre. On the website for A Piece of New Zealand it says “Have they lost their minds?”

I don’t think they have. I’ve looked at the website, some of the news articles and even the Bookface group and I quickly came to the conclusion that these are people who don’t just say they believe in what they do, but they’re willing to back it up – in a very deliberate and sacrificial way.

I noticed that lots of people were getting on board the Bookface group and that there is even a Twitterfeed which is cool. But I did wonder (cynical as I am) how many of the people congratulating them had contributed. The proposition is basically that for $25 you get a set of Waipa District photos and go in the draw to win the million dollar house – the Smith’s only house by the way. It all closes on 31 January. So far they’re up to just about $80,000.

I have worked for a charity and met some amazing people who choose to give to others at a personal cost to themselves. I like this particular project because they are doing it with such positivity and enthusiasm – and they’ve priced the photo sets reasonably enough so that most people could afford to get involved if they want to.

I’m lucky that I’ve been taught about sharing and giving from an early age. I have never had to sacrifice like this amazing family, but I like to give something, even a little bit, to collectors on the street or good causes friends are involved in. I’m not saying this to make myself sound Mother Teresa-ish – because I’m a very long way from it! I am saying that as the proverb says “The world of the generous gets larger & larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller & smaller.” Sometimes it’ll be a couple of coins that are in my wallet, this time it’s a set of images, one of which is now a pretty wallpaper on my PC and a donation to a guy who is growing a ridiculous moustache.

Do whatever you like – but if you think someone is doing a good thing – do more than write on their wall (especially if it’s a non virtual one). If you really believe in what they’re doing, or just believe in them… give a little. It’s a good feeling.

Website: www.apieceofnz.co.nz

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Win-our-Million-Dollar-Home/335481420160?v=wall

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/apieceofnz

Blog: My massive lifestyle change

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When I moved to Auckland as a fresh faced teenager I had pretty much no work experience and spent the first year selling baby clothes and pantyhose at Rendell’s on Karangahape Road. For all that it was like being in the cast of Are You Being Served with larger than life characters who had worked for the family owned company for decades, it was an good introduction to the colourful world of Auckland (understatement) and customer service.

The point of that work history intro was to set the scene from the happy days when I was young and poor. It makes me sound a hundred years old, but back in 1995 only salespeople had cellphones (and they were the size of a 1kg block of cheese). This was a good thing because there would have been no way I could have afforded such an opulent status symbol.

We lived simply in those days and made our own fun. We didn’t go out to restaurants or even cafes except for extremely special occasions. For weekend entertainment we’d go to each other’s houses (something we seem to have replaced with 30 minute catch-ups at neutral locations) or go for a picnic. I hardly dare say this, but we thought it was good entertainment when someone got out a guitar. Even then I was useless at making my own lunch but I was brilliant at where to find good cheap food.

I’ve got to say that as much as I adore gorgeous food and service in attractive locations… I really did enjoy the simple life. I think the best thing was that if I had a treat I would look forward to it hugely, grin from ear to ear during it and think about how much fun it had been afterwards.

These days I spend quite a bit more on entertainment – gigs, shows, meals beforehand, things to wear… but I have been wondering  if it would be good to balance all this out with a little bit of simplicity.

This vague thought has been reinforced by an impulsive moment on Tuesday when I not only decided that it would be fun to spend New Years in Australia, but also booked flights. So in very simple terms – it’s not long until Christmas, I’m going to Melbourne straight afterwards and it’s going to be a lot more fun if I save some money between now and then.

So – this is the plan. No gig or show tickets (even though I was sorely tested when Al Green tickets went on sale today), no buying breakfast or lunch (I’m relearning how to make my lunch), only one flat white every day and no new clothes or shoes (unless they’re really, really beautiful).

Seriously though, I might need to buy some jandals before I go, but otherwise I’m going to try really hard to stop spending unnecessarily. I’m really hoping that I will rediscoverthe joys of picnics, cups of tea and homemade sandwiches. I’m really hoping… and now I’ve gone public hopefully I’ll live up to my bold statements, at least a little bit.